Wednesday, September 1, 2010


Since we've been living out at the cabin, we have been shooting a lot of guns. I guess it goes hand in hand with cabin life to shoot at targets and animals. Don't worry, Hayes has yet to shoot his first gun.
It all started when Adam and CJ left to go get materials. They were gone for a very long time, I remember thinking. None of my business I guess? Fast forward a couple weeks... I'm out at the cabin shooting some clay pigeons, (Correction: shooting AT some clay pigeons, I never did get one this time.) when my brother says 'hey, you want to try the hand gun?' I said sure. Then I asked who's hand gun it was. He said it belonged to Jared. Well, I shoot the handgun and it turns out, I'm a purtttty good shot. Nailed the target in 3 out of my first 6 shots.
Now come to find out, Jared doesn't have a hand gun there. So somebody was lying to me. When I began to question, my husband tells me that the 'material' run him and Adam went on a couple weeks prior, was indeed a material run, but also turned into a gun shopping spree. Adam bought that handgun I shot, and lied to me. He will tell you he lied to me because 'he's scared of me.' And I don't know why he's scared of me. I'm not the one that owns the hand gun. Here in good ol' Missouri, they run a background check right there when you try and purchase of course. And if your 'good enough' you can get your gun in a couple a days. But if things look a little shady in your past (my husbands past barfights, nights in jail etc) they put a 7 day hold on your purchase. So that explains why my husbands hand gun was not yet there. However, CJ was informing me that today was the lucky day we could go pick up his gun as a family!!
As he got on the phone with firearms store to confirm his pickup, they informed him that he would not be able to pick up his gun today, or any day:( Turns out, the gun store received back a notification from the FBI NOT to sell guns to my poor little husband. They couldn't give CJ a good reason other than 'you've been denied in the system.' Now, let me tell you that CJ and I have seen his background check just last summer. It's nothing special, no surprises. But apparently, the U.S. government does NOT want him ever owning a gun!
The irony in this, is that just a couple days later, CJ was involved in a heated road rage incident in which the other driver kept reaching into his glove box as if to pull out a gun on CJ....oh boy.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Cabin Life

Wow, I'm so good at keeping up with this blog. We are currently living out in a cabin a little over an hour away from home, in rural Kansas. The town is smaller than my hometown Metamora. The people are quite a bit more simple. There is only a Casey's, no fast food, no stop light, no anything. There is a 'market' to get groceries and a bar that also serves pretty good food. They do allow babies and children into that bar as well. The people here are very nice. I'm talking quite a bit about the town, but we are farther out in the woods.
The cabin we are staying in is deep in the woods. We are out here because CJ is building a barn. The property belongs to our best friends and they don't live here currently so we are staying in the cabin while CJ builds the barn. When I say 'cabin', you may be getting a picture of me dressed in a bonnet, sweeping a dirt floor and making muffins in a cast iron pan while holding twin red-headed babies on each hip. But this cabin is amazing, big and beautiful. It's nicer, much nicer than my home. The stove is better than a 5 star restaurant and it makes me want to cook 6 meals a day. I don't, however of course. In fact, I think I've cooked twice, but both times...that stove was PRETTY AMAZING. The cabin is surrounded by windows on all sides and a deck that goes almost all the way around. There is a small lake that the cabin overlooks. It's beautiful and quiet out here, and very private.
We find ourselves saying "ahh, this is so peacful. I could do this forever.' Then about a half hour later we change our minds and say 'man, it gets kinda creepy out here. Lots of bugs, scary noises and lonely'. Then back again to how much we love it.
Hayes is adjusting well, as he always does. He has taken his first steps in the last week!! His personality is still pretty mellow, but still loves people. He's starting to finally laugh more. He is definitely a daddy's boy. Not a snuggler, very independent, great sleeper, very well behaved, eats a ton, likes books. He went from having no teeth, to 5 teeth in just about a week and barely fussed. I think he's a pretty tough kid. We love him so much.
CJ is doing an amazing job on this barn and I'm so proud of him. It's amazing to see the work his hands can do. He's such a hard worker, but doesn't ever complain. He has a great attitude about life and everything he does. He loves his work and it shows. It's been really fun to be just a few feet away and be able to watch him work and just look out the window and see him doing what he does best. And then getting to have him come inside for a kiss. I will be sad when this project is over and it will back to the everyday, actually.
As for me, I brought about 6 books out here to read thinking I would be bored. I really haven't been bored at all yet. I find myself sweeping a lot. And doing too much internetting when I get a chance, but mostly hanging outside while the weather is still nice.
That's it for now. See you in probably 3 months...

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


I hate when people brag about their kids/babies accomplishments. So that's why I'm going to brag about my baby's accomplishments. First off I'll start with some facts: Hayes is 7 and a half months. He is still in size 0-3 pants for the most part. Yeah, he's pretty small. That fact is not really a brag, but more a shock. Coming from his father and I, one would think he would be on the heftier side of things. At this rate, I might not need to buy anything but baby clothes for a couple years.
Hayes started crawling at 5 and a half months. Yeah, he was kind of a stud. He was pulling himself up on furniture at 7 months. Yeah, he's strong. He gave his dad a bloody lip the other day. Yeah, he can kick a 28 year old's butt. Last week, he took two steps (with one hand still on the couch, minor detail). Yeah, he's amazing. AND last but not least, today he told me he loved me! With his eyes:) and his laugh, and his sweet smile.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

You will never know Hayes....

How much your daddy loves you.
I'm writing this post, because by the time our future children are born, CJ will probably have the parenting thing down better. And that's good, and that's sad too! I love watching him experience all this for the first time and laugh at his innocence of his fears of fatherhood. Believe me, it's all scary for me too. But I have been around babies and kids for years and felt pretty prepared. CJ had experience. And I think that's pretty awesome that his first experiences are with his own very first born SON.
Hayes, I'm going to give a few excerpts from your first few months that are hilights to the worry/love that your father has for you that just tickle the soul. I'm not sure if/when you will read these. It may be someday when you are a dad yourself. Or it may be when your dad has you locked in your room awaiting the worst round of spankings and you feel like he doesn't love you. Or it may be in your college dorm room and you haven't talked to your dad in awhile(give him a call!) Regardless, you should get a kick out of it.
1. THE 1st night we brought you home from the hospital, we noticed your boobies were kind of white and hard. I honestly didn't know anything about that. Well, it's actually normal for newborn babies. But your dad was freaked out. FREAKED OUT. In fact, made me call the hospital and used the words, and I quote, 'BABY BREAST CANCER'. Yeah.
2. Your first bath at home. You screamed, of course. Baths are wierd when you have never had one before right? Your dad wanted to stop the bath because you 'seemed too stressed out'. We have it on video tape, but you really can't hear anything he's saying over your baby screams.
3. Flight home from Jared and Amy's wedding. Babies' ears can hurt from the takeoff/landing, so you are supposed to feed them. On the descend, you wouldn't take the bottle, and you were screaming. Your little ears were hurting. I knew it would only last a couple minutes until we were down or you would figure out the bottle would help. Daddy on the other hand had never experienced anything so traumatic in his life. Your whole crying spell literally lasted 3 minutes TOPS. He made it seem like 45. His reaction to the situation was far worse. He was so worried about you. I was explaining to him that you were fine etc. It didn't matter, he was petrified. Now I'm trying to calm two babies on an airplane. Then came the magic words from your father: "Is he going to die?" Yes. He seriously asked that. Now, I know he was in a state of panic, and didn't know what was wrong with you? But I honestly thought about telling him yes because I just couldn't believe he would ask that.

I'm sure there will be many, many more. Bottom line Hayes, your daddy loves you more than you could possibly know. On his way home from work, he calls to make sure you haven't gone to bed yet for the night. And the only reason he would have missed your bath/bedtime is because he is one of the hardest working men you will meet these days and he does it for you and me! He didn't want you to have to be with a stranger all day instead of your own mother, so he works hard so I can be with you all day. But he makes sure he doesn't work too hard and misses out on your life. If he misses bath time some nights, he comes into your room and picks you up out of your crib while you are asleep. You usually don't wake up. He just stares at you and usually has me come in there and look at you too:) You really are a perfect gift! Someday you will have your own kids, and know this feeling. Now...I'm sounding like my own mama, your Mammmyyy.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


I've noticed that I haven't been 'blogging' enough. And I know that I'd like to start doing it more, and I say that I will, but probably won't. But honestly, half the time I go to write one, it won't let me log in? But when I look through my blogs and only see about 3 since I had my sweet, prescious, makes me sad. So I need to say a few words to, for him.
From the time I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mommy. And not in the normal sense. I really, truly WANTED to be a mommy when I grew up. I am litterally doing my dream job every day. He is my dream! Some girls like kids, I LOVED babies and kids my entire life. I have prayed for a son of my own and God has blessed me with a healthy miracle! With the complications of the delivery, there is not a scratch on his head!
His eyes are blue as blue, and he has his daddy's tiny buns (not his mama's big ones:), he has a quiet, sweet demeanor so far, and is very well behaved. He is cuddly and I love to wake up to him (I promise!). He is so so strong and has been since he was just a few days old. I think he is going to be a wrestler! And a singer. And a Chess player. And a blog writer. ?
Hayes, I love you so much. And I pray that you will use the mind that God gave you for good and not for evil, and that you think of others just as important as yourself. And that credit cards are bad.


Sometimes I can get in a bad mood over the dumbest stuff because, well, I'm a chick and that's what I do. I try not to externalize it because in my head, I know it's dumb. So if I make it known aloud, it will just sound even more dumb, which actually helps me with my attitude. Make sense? Absolutely not, I know. ANYWAYS. The other day, I was feeling like my whole day was ruined because C.J. got up with the baby and let me go back to sleep. Right there, is a wonderful. This is something he does often, and he is wonderful. After he fed the baby and played with him awhile, he woke me up and said 'here you go, I think I'm going to go back to sleep. He want's his mama'. And of course I acted super excited to get to take over. But in my heart, I was bitter. Very bitter. So mad. Because I'm not a moring person. Now, let me tell you, that it was almost 9 am at this point. Which is much later than most college kids get to sleep till. Anyways, I like to start my day with coffee and some Bible. I opened the book of Acts and it was talking about one of Paul's journeys. Paul is probably my favorite Bible character. I like how he thinks. In this particular chapter, which I've read before, he was in a boat traveling to some land with some dudes he didn't really know and who didn't really know him and who didn't really know God. And it had been storming for a really long time. 14 days in fact. And they all thought they were going to die. They hadn't ate, or slept and they were sick and miserable. Paul is always positive. And he's always content. And he's always talking about how content he is in every situation whethere he has a little or a lot. Anyways, the point is, this chapter is basically describing how crappy this storm and this boat is and horrible they feel physically. And then I read the words I needed to hear that I need to read every time I feel like complaining about my situation. "About midnight on the 14th night of the storm.." WOW! My husband woke me up at 9 am so I could stick my baby in the bouncy chair so I could drink some coffee and read that?! And Paul has probably been barfing and having diarrhea (if there is any food to barf up) for 10 days in the rain with complete strangers and he has an amazing attitude at all times. Something to strive towards!

Monday, February 8, 2010

First drink, first cigarette

I was recently reminiscing on the first time I smoked a cigarette and had my first taste of alcohol. Ironically, they were both given to me by my dear daddy who I never once saw drink any form of alcohol, or use any tobacco products!
Now I must preface this with the statement that my father in no way was trying to push alcohol and tobacco on his daughter. I have never seen my parents drink or smoke, and they have chose that abstinence as their lifelong commitment which I have utmost respect for. But I believe my daddy was wanting to expose his daughter to these things under his watchful eye and maybe since I was young, I would hate it, and learn my lesson to never want to try it again! He hadn't done this with my brother, and my brother sampled these things with his friends, and without supervision and so dad wanted to try a different approach with me.
Both instances were memorable.

The first time I had a cigarette, 6th grade:
We were building fence at my grandpa's farm. This is a chore that I rarely had to help out with, but hated just the same. For some reason, we took my grandpa's truck to the nearby pasture. As I sat in his truck, I glanced at the pack of cigarettes on the dashboard. Dad saw me looking and asked "Would you like to try one, Summer?'' Now of course I thought this was a trick question. So I said 'uh, what do you mean?' He explained to me that it was ok, and that he'd rather me try it in his presence, and to not tell my mom. So as soon as we parked the truck in the pasture, he lit me up:) He obviously didn't teach me how to inhale, and just let me suck in and out. He kept staring at me with a disgusted look in his face and asked me if I liked it. I replied "yeah I kind of do!'' That is obviously probably the worst response he was hoping to get. I just remember being hunched over awkwardly because I didn't know what I was doing, and I didn't want to get 'ashes' on me. He just kept staring with the most disgusted look on his face and then I remember him telling me in a joking, disgusted voice that I 'looked like a prostitute' and then he walked over and took it out of my mouth.
The first time I had alcohol did not strike me as funny until years later when I look back. We were having a family vacation in Colorado. Dad was sick with cancer at the time. He was drinking so much carrot juice, that the bottoms of his feet turned orange. While we were swimming in Colorado, he would wear those Aqua Socks as he was embarrassed of the orange. Everyone else was just embarrassed that he was wearing aqua socks;)
Mom and Adam were in the cabin probably watching tv or eating snacks:) Dad and I were at the pool swimming laps. It was early evening and there was a social going on in a white tent in the grass by the pool. It looked very high end. Everyone was in suits, and the women were all in black dresses and everyone had on nametags and they were drinking wine and eating hor'deurvs (sp?). At this point, we were done swimming laps, and just relaxing in the hot tub as we people watched at the party. Sometimes I swear my dad could read my mind. Because I was sitting there thinking how fun it looked to dress up in a classy setting and drink some wine. I was 14. As I was staring, he again looked over at me and asked 'Summer, would you like to try some wine?' Again, thinking it might be a trick question, I was vague. He again said "I will let you try some, but you can't tell your mother." I remember asking him if I could drink it from a wine glass and he said no. Well, the next moments leave a picture in my adult mind that will make me laugh forever. He walked over to the tent in his red Nike swimtrunks, soaking wet with his aquasocks on, no shirt...just wet, hairy, bare chest. He entered the tent, grabbed some wine and poured it into a plastic cup, and took it to a teenage girl in a hot tub!! Can you picture this?? I would love to know what the people at the social were thinking when this uninvited man in wet swim trunks comes in and steals their wine to take to an underager:)
I wonder if I will let my child try these same things with me?

Saturday, January 16, 2010


I haven't posted since I was 34 weeks pregnant. Now I have a 2 month old son...woops! To my defense, I could not log into my account because I don't have a google email address and it wasn't letting me...etc...excuses.
Hayes was born November 17, 2009 at 5:38 am. A mere 58 hours after my first painful real contraction. I may post a birth story later, but it will be a long post, as it was the longest labor ever. Finally, after being stuck at 5 centimeters for hours upon hours, they decided to give me Pitocin to 'speed things up' and it still took TWELVE hours to go from a 5-10.
Hayes is a little miracle as his head came out with the cord so tight around his neck, that they had to quickly clamp and cut it so he wouldn't choke. Then his shoulders got stuck so he was without oxygen. They pushed on my stomach and yanked him out and he wasn't breathing. It was a pretty traumatic delivery and I wasn't able to see or hold him until he got out of the NICU 4 hours later. However, God was so gracious and there he completely recovered!
I have tried to upload a video of him, but for some reason it takes FOREVER and says the file size is too high. If anyone has any suggestions on this, I would love to know.
This is all for now, but I PROMISE I will post more now that I can login to my account, and now that I'm a stay at home mom!