anonymous quote..

I came across a quote on Pinterest the other day, and ignored it. Then I kept thinking about it, and tried to go back to find it, but I couldn't. But it was this or something like this..
'Have you prayed about it as much as you've talked about it'

Love it. I tend to talk or complain or vent to people who probably don't want to hear it anyways. Or shouldn't hear about it. There's so much more relief just to pray. That's going to be one of my New Years resolutions.

Most memorable Christmas Eve(s)

Tonight is Christmas Eve. Thinking about watching my son's face open his presents in the morning, has me just as excited as I felt waiting for the morning when I was a kid. My most memorable Christmas Eve is a tie. The one I got engaged, (which I will tell about in detail separately) and one that probably wouldn't be considered happy, but all the same was wonderful. If that makes sense.
The year was 1998. Do you like how I said that like I'm a legit story teller? :) I was 15 years old. My daddy was very sick with cancer. My older brother was home from college. I remember him coming home and telling me 'man, dad looks bad. Looks really bad. I don't know how I'm going to able to do this, seeing him like this.' As I look back now, as an adult, I realize how tough it was. Tough to see my daddy...the daddy who's rough callused (sp?) hands scratched my back every night, his strong arms lifted bails of hay in 90+ degree weather, he carried me on his back (even when I was 14 and we were at disney world and I was sick of walking!), he did push ups and sit-ups every morning at the crack of dawn, chin ups on the basement bar, ran 5k races, and even did 20 pushups as soon as he was in the recovery room of his first cancer surgery. And then to see him at a state where he's just around 100lbs of skin and bones and hasn't been able to eat real food in months, just shakes of ground up food. His face is so deformed from the tumor, that no one would recognize him. His speech is hard to understand and the pain medication makes him act like he's not himself sometimes. This was the scene of my junior year of high school.
This particular Christmas Eve, he was in a bad amount of pain. He was one tough dude and I don't throw that around. So the fact that he was really struggling this night was hard. I remember he wanted to call 'Bob'.
Bob is a family friend. He is our family chiropractor, but that's a minor description on what he is. Him and his family are some of the most generous people you will ever meet. His son Jay, is my brother's age and they have been friends for about 25 years. Steph is Bob's daughter. But no, she is my best friend. We stood up in each other's weddings, cried together when life changed, laughed together over things we shouldn't laugh about, fought through eating disorders, and talked out hours of parenting/marriage/life/spiritual issues that you would only share with your deepest friend.
So when my dad was feeling so physically bad that night, he only felt comfortable to call 'Dr. Bob'. Who, minor detail, is THE best chiropractor ever. It was Christmas Eve, and they have a big family and fun traditions. I don't know how that phone call went, but I remember my parents loading us in the van to go to the Benningfield's..on Christmas Eve. Last minute. And I was excited to see my friend, and maybe have my daddy get some relief.
If you are in work for yourself, like my husband is, you groan when a customer calls you last minute to come 'fix' something. Especially on your days off. Especially on something like Christmas Eve. But not the Benningfields. They had us come right away and didn't make us feel like we were a burden. In fact, Steph had a gift waiting for me when I walked in the door. And I had one for her. BUT what's funny about this, is that we both 're-gifted'haha! We totally laugh about this to this day. I remember scrambling and grabbing a picture frame I had. And she had scrambled and grabbed some Bath and Body works lotion she had received.
I remember my dad leaving there feeling physically better. And all of us feeling better emotionally. And grateful. So thankful. In a way, I feel like it saved Christmas. That family's unselfish generosity that seemed so second nature for them, is something I will never forget.
That was the last Christmas I had with my daddy. And I am grateful that it was so memorable. I remember we got a tv that year, a tv that is now obsolete. Who freakin' cares about that tv? This was the stuff that matters.

Christmas diamond

One of the best memories of my childhood Christmas's, didn't involve a present I received, but one my mom did. Although, I could probably write about ten posts on Christmas memories. But then again, you can just go borrow my mom's VHS tapes because OUR ENTIRE CHILDHOOD IS VIDEOTAPED! I believe in the video camera, believe me I DO. But man, mom, there's a LOT of footage..
Anyways, this one was on tape and if I had the tech savy-ness to upload, I would love to. It was the Christmas my dad got my mom a new diamond ring.
The back story, is that my dad had a serious girlfriend before my mother. He had bought a ring, and was going to propose. I can't remember why, but he broke up with her before they got engaged and he held onto the ring. Into the picture comes my mother. They date, fall in love, and he's ready to propose. Hey, how convenient, he's got a ring already! haha, so my mom always gave him a little crap about that. Gosh, I don't blame her.
If you don't know my background: we didn't have a lot of money. Which I honestly have never thought of as a bad thing. All about perspective, and ours was good. We were rich in love and life and my daddy worked hard for everything we did have. And we were content. Our needs were met. We lived on a farm, and that farm was a child'd dream with endless hours of freedom and fun. But Christmas meant a lot of garage sale toys some years.
This particular Christmas I think I was 8 or so. Mom opened a gift from my dad and started crying immediately. No surprise there. But it was a happy/shock cry. He had given her a diamond ring. And he said it was all for her, with a little chuckle. She's just staring at it, crying, etc. And she asked him how he was able to afford it. He said 'I sold a steer'. That made her cry more. You see, those cows meant a lot to him. They were his hobby, his investment, his hardwork, his babies etc. And to sell one off like that, was a big sacrifice. And it tickles me. Think about it: 'how'd ya afford this here ring, honey?' "well darlin', I sold me a steer". It sounds pretty hick, haha. But to me as a young girl, I thought it was just another gushy thing my parents were doing that I didn't understand. Now that I'm an adult, I reflect on it as a beautiful act of love!

Scarves

If you know me, you know that you should NEVER take fashion advice from me. Or my husband. My husbands style can't be summed up. He'll wear snakeskin loafers with knee high socks, mesh shorts, a Hurley skate or surf shirt(whichever one of those Hurley is? Regardless, CJ is neither) and a had with some sort of tool company or farm equipment on it. Picture this outfit if you can, because it's real, and it exists. And he wears these things shamelessly.
Regardless of how he dresses, I am very thankful he doesn't wear scarves. I hate to admit that I instantly judge men who wear scarves. That's wrong, I know, and I should work on it. But if they are doing it to accessorize or jazz up their look, why not just wear a broach, or some nice costume jewelry. And if they are really doing it to keep their neck warm, they might as well wear a giant, bushy sweater turtleneck because those look just as terrible.
So to my CJ, you may not be real 'hip', but I dig your style. Most of the time.

I'm going to pack better lunches

Hayes started a 'preschool' this week. It's for 2 year olds, so they can't be learning much. But our pediatrician said it might help Hayes get along with others. In other words, it might teach him not to cold cock punch a kid in the face for no reason, or push over a boy who's just minding his own business, or pull a girls hair who's just sitting quietly etc. These have been common activities Hayes has pulled while at play dates, play grounds etc. He's independent, strong willed, defiant and we are trying to learn how to channel it. This pre school might help him learn to obey authority better, and develop social skills that don't result in immediate punishment or removal from the party.
His first day went a little rough. Several altercations, I guess. Lost of shoving, violence etc. for no reason. My concern was that he would get kicked out in his first week. The teachers were very nice, but you have to do what's best for ALL the kids. And if all the kids are getting bullied for no reason, someone might have to go.
Today was day 2. I prayed for a better report and I got it! There were still issues of unprovoked violence on Hayes' part, but overall, not as many. When I hear my child ONLY attacked another child a couple times, this is a GOOD THING!
However, I think I may need to pack Hayes a better lunch. When I was a kid, my mom packed the worst lunches. Well, at least from a kids standpoint. They were super healthy and dry and bland. Everything was from the health food store, or Aldi's. Which isn't fun or cool. NO ONE ever wanted to trade their oreo's or doritos for my rotten banana or whole wheat pretzels that were probably stale. Now that I'm a mom though, I caught myself doing the same healthy lunch for my two year old. WELL turns out, the other children had the 'good' lunches. With some cookies.
So today while the teachers had their backs turned, and before they could stop him, Hayes made a run for it. Did a lap around the table of little kids and stole their cookies right out from under them. Had someone's chocolate milk (I, of course packed him water) in his mouth before anyone could get to him. Kids were crying, but it was too late. Oooh Hayes, I think it's safe to say he's not making any friends in there yet:) But man, is that pretty freakin' funny!!

Honest Abe

Do you remember the story of Abe Lincoln when he walked like miles in the snow (I don't know history well) to return like a few cents that the store owner had given him extra by accident? Well, he did. And that's where he got the name honest Abe. That's one of the few academic things I remember from my school days.
Today, I went to the bank. I was taking out a bit of cash. She handed me my cash in an envelope, sent a sucker through for Hayes, and we went on home. When I got home, I noticed she gave me more cash than I asked for, but didn't debit that extra from my account. So, I called the bank and told them of their mistake. Now, before you go thinking how honest I am and what a good person I am, know that I did this partly because it's the 'right thing to do'. But if I'm being 100% honest, partly because I thought maybe something good would happen or I expected the bank to pat me on the back, spread the word on what a wonderful customer I am, and THEN just let me keep the $100 anyways for being honest!
Haha, I actually love better how they handled it. They asked me drive all the way back to the bank and return the money. Meaning, pack up your two car-seat riding children, into the rain, and drive back to the bank. And then give them the money back.
One of those moments where I checked myself. I had to realize that if we decide to do the right thing for the wrong reasons, we may as well have done the wrong thing. ;)

How to get a baby to sleep through the night

Both of my children have slept through the night (for the most part) by 6-8 weeks. Lots of people ask how I do it. Here's some tips in case I forget or am not around to help out my little Bria when she gives me some grand babies! These are tips from the NEWBORN STAGE(first couple weeks). If the baby is older, I have many tips for that too. But remember, I'm no doctor. Or actually, even expert for that matter. So only treat me like one if this works for you;)

1 Feed them every 2 hours from 8am-6pm.

Starting at 8 am, wake the baby if she is sleeping. Wake her and feed her. Even if she 'falls asleep at the wheel', try and tickle her, take off her shirt to rest against you etc to get her to wake and at least get a little feeding. Don't force it though.

2 Starting at 5:30, give her a sponge bath. Docs say don't bathe every day, I do. They will start to pick up a pattern. Also, they sleep ALL day and are barely active. This will wake them up and wear them out one last time before the night. Rub 'em down with some baby oil so their skin doesn't get dried out.

3 Give them one last feeding. In the room they are going to sleep in, with the lights down, sing a song..one that can always be sung at bedtime. I think they will start to associate it with bedtime eventually.

4 Let them sleep on their tummy if they want. Again, docs say NO. But when I was a baby they said NEVER put a baby on your back. I think our bodies rest best when they are most comfortable. For me, and turns out my babies, it's on their tummies. Not all babies LIKE tummy sleeping though.

5 When you get up for night feedings, try and keep the lights low, room quiet. Change their diaper FIRST. This will wake them up a bit, but it's better now than right after they've eaten and fallen asleep again. Otherwise you wake them up all over and it can be difficult to get them to settle again.

6 Introduce a paci or get them to self sooth on their thumb. Again, only if they don't settle easy on their own. Do this if they are fussy and can't fall back asleep at night. Get them used to it, so when you lay them down without the comfort of your body, at least they will still have something they like.

--Things to try to get a baby to shut up when you know she's tired. And you know that if her diaper is changed, full tummy, she's not sick or uncomfortable. That means all her needs are met, so she's probably crabby because she needs SLEEP. Rock her, shush her, bounce up and down, hold her over your arm on her tummy, run water in the sink, walk her in a baby wrap and DON'T transfer her to the bed/resting place until she's been in a deep phase of sleep for awhile. REM sleep.

Baby food jars

Oh Hayes, if you ONLY knew how MAD your dad was today when he had to plunge the toilet numerous times, make a trip to the Home Depot, tear the toilet completely off so he could fix it, OR if you only knew how much disgusting human waste I had to bleach off of our bathroom floor, or the bathroom mats I threw away, or the Juicy Couture (It was a gift from being in a wedding) velore suit I had to throw out because of the sewer mess...Well, if you only knew what this all entailed, maybe you wouldn't have thrown..not one, but THREE small glass baby food jars down the toilet. But then again maybe you would have?