You will never know Hayes....

How much your daddy loves you.
I'm writing this post, because by the time our future children are born, CJ will probably have the parenting thing down better. And that's good, and that's sad too! I love watching him experience all this for the first time and laugh at his innocence of his fears of fatherhood. Believe me, it's all scary for me too. But I have been around babies and kids for years and felt pretty prepared. CJ had nothing...no experience. And I think that's pretty awesome that his first experiences are with his own very first born SON.
Hayes, I'm going to give a few excerpts from your first few months that are hilights to the worry/love that your father has for you that just tickle the soul. I'm not sure if/when you will read these. It may be someday when you are a dad yourself. Or it may be when your dad has you locked in your room awaiting the worst round of spankings and you feel like he doesn't love you. Or it may be in your college dorm room and you haven't talked to your dad in awhile(give him a call!) Regardless, you should get a kick out of it.
1. THE 1st night we brought you home from the hospital, we noticed your boobies were kind of white and hard. I honestly didn't know anything about that. Well, it's actually normal for newborn babies. But your dad was freaked out. FREAKED OUT. In fact, made me call the hospital and used the words, and I quote, 'BABY BREAST CANCER'. Yeah.
2. Your first bath at home. You screamed, of course. Baths are wierd when you have never had one before right? Your dad wanted to stop the bath because you 'seemed too stressed out'. We have it on video tape, but you really can't hear anything he's saying over your baby screams.
3. Flight home from Jared and Amy's wedding. Babies' ears can hurt from the takeoff/landing, so you are supposed to feed them. On the descend, you wouldn't take the bottle, and you were screaming. Your little ears were hurting. I knew it would only last a couple minutes until we were down or you would figure out the bottle would help. Daddy on the other hand had never experienced anything so traumatic in his life. Your whole crying spell literally lasted 3 minutes TOPS. He made it seem like 45. His reaction to the situation was far worse. He was so worried about you. I was explaining to him that you were fine etc. It didn't matter, he was petrified. Now I'm trying to calm two babies on an airplane. Then came the magic words from your father: "Is he going to die?" Yes. He seriously asked that. Now, I know he was in a state of panic, and didn't know what was wrong with you? But I honestly thought about telling him yes because I just couldn't believe he would ask that.


I'm sure there will be many, many more. Bottom line Hayes, your daddy loves you more than you could possibly know. On his way home from work, he calls to make sure you haven't gone to bed yet for the night. And the only reason he would have missed your bath/bedtime is because he is one of the hardest working men you will meet these days and he does it for you and me! He didn't want you to have to be with a stranger all day instead of your own mother, so he works hard so I can be with you all day. But he makes sure he doesn't work too hard and misses out on your life. If he misses bath time some nights, he comes into your room and picks you up out of your crib while you are asleep. You usually don't wake up. He just stares at you and usually has me come in there and look at you too:) You really are a perfect gift! Someday you will have your own kids, and know this feeling. Now...I'm sounding like my own mama, your Mammmyyy.