Punishments

Since Hayes was about 14 months old, we've struggled with finding the right punishments for him. Over the last year and a half, we've tried it all while struggling to be consistent. I have a hard time being consistent when somehow every punishment with Hayes turns into him out smarting me. Just a few examples: -Vinegar. This worked for a couple weeks. When he talked back or said mean/disrespectful things to me, I'd put a cotton ball soaked with Apple Cider Vinegar on his tongue. This kills two birds with one stone, as ACV is very good for his immune system. Tastes terrible. TERRIBLE. But after a couple weeks, Hayes would ask for 'binegar'. -Spanking has taken a back seat, as he recently doesn't flinch. I'm spanking him HARD, with a plastic kitchen spoon. He turns around, sticks his butt out, and says 'this is going to be funny'. Takes his spanking, and says 'that was funny'. If it hurts, he should get an award for his acting. I literally don't feel right spanking him any harder than I already do. -Taking away toys. This worked VERY well for a couple weeks. He'd cry and cry. But just now, I went into his room and said if he didn't clean up the game (that he threw all over his room in a fit of rage), that I was going to take some toys away. He replies with 'Ok, maybe you should take two toys.' and proceeds to hand me all of his toys. Just walking around saying 'here, take this one too'. -Sending him to his room, is still the only one that slightly works. Until you hear him throwing toys against the door, punching the wall, knocking over shelves etc. -Sticker chart. We have a chart in the laundry room that has just THREE stickers. If he can make it through the day with all 3 stickers up, he gets a prize. He gets stickers for obeying and doing random good things. And gets stickers taken away as well. We've had that thing for about 6 months, and there hasn't been a single day where he's ended the day with all 3 stickers. I've shown him the prize he gets if he can get 3 stickers. I've even been gracious and given him freebie stickers when he didn't quite deserve it.