Attitude change

Every once in awhile, as in pretty much every day, I need an attitude change. See, staying at home with my kids is something I have wanted to do since I was a little girl. I wanted nothing more than to grow up and have babies, cooking meals, and wearing heals. Cute, look how that rhymed. And boy, am I doing it. Except the heals thing. And my meals are pretty mediocre at best.
And I will tell you, that I'm not a very good housekeeper at all. In fact, as I type, I have a dinner that needs cleaned up, a couple loads of laundry to fold (even though I've folded 2 already today), the upstairs to vacuum, some coupons to sort, like 3 late birthday cards to send, a lunch to pack for Hayes school in the morning...i haven't showered today..agh and it's almost 10 pm! But look at me, I'm sitting her blogging about how I never get anything done haha
I don't need to tell you stay-at-home moms about how hard it is to stay on top of housework when you have one crawler who needs you for everything and a toddler who you probably physically shouldn't take your eyes off of for more than 30 seconds at a time. So yeah, it get tricky. But if I'm being 100% honest, that's only half of it.
I need to admit that I need an attitude change. I explain it this way. Imagine if you are a painter. And you go into a house, and your customer has a room painted white, and they'd like it painted blue. So you unload all of your supplies, tape off, pour the paint, prime, paint for a few hours, take a lunch break, go back and paint a couple more hours until you have your final product. A beautifully painted room. And you leave, and maybe the customer says thank you. But they don't pay you. Then they call you the next day, and say 'hey, we went ahead and painted that room back to white. But could you come back and paint it blue again? Oh, pay? No, we aren't going to pay you. Just go ahead and do it anyways'. So you go. And you paint it all over again. And you leave, and maybe this time they didn't say thanks, and of course they didn't pay you. Instead, they just splashed white paint all over your fresh blue paint and knocked over paint can and then they pinched you. And you do this every day Ook, that last pinching part I made up. But you get the crossover in stories here. Sometimes, I feel like that painter. I REALLY like hanging around my 'customers'(my babies) and playing with them, and laughing with them, and chasing them, and tickling them, because to ME, that's rewarding. But I emphasize me, because staying at home with your babies, isn't all about ME. And the little stuff that I don't do for my own immediate pleasure or gratification, the stuff that I shouldn't wait for a pat on the back or a paycheck for, is the stuff that is the real sacrifice for my babies and my husband. Having clean clothes and meals and clean sheets is how I show them love. Ignore this society that put in my head that I need to wait for some monetary value or certain level of praise to do the things that are the selfless acts of love that, in all honesty, I hate. But that's what makes them pure acts of love. And realize too, that I have friends who have stayed home with their grown babies, and told me they regretted how much emphasis they put on keeping their house up and wish they would have spent more time on the floor with their babes. But I'm faaaaar from that. But I say that to show you that there is a good balance. And that I will never regret spending time with my children, but I can't let the excuse of my lack of praise for my duties keep me from doing what's right! AAANDDD here's hoping that writing about it will hold me accountable!! :)