Baby update

Today I went to my 32 week appointment and was told our little boy is measuring for a 34 week old. So this means a big baby, or an earlier due date...not exactly sure right now. I will tell you, that it made me very excited. That means technically I could be holding this little guy in my arms instead of my belly...in about a month!

My father's 60th birthday would have been on Nov. 7th of this year. The thought crossed my mind that there is a slight possibility that this baby could be born exactly 60 years from his grandpa! I do admit, it makes me emotional to think about what a wonderful grandpa he would have been. As gentle as he was with children, and how much he enjoyed them. And one of his favorite things to do was listen to a newborn baby breathe. That sound was heaven to him. I just think of how wonderful it would have been to introduce him to his own grandson. And how he could teach him about farming. And about hard work. And Jesus. He would have made the most wonderful and involved grandpa!

It kind of set in today that this IT. These are the last few weeks I will have to 'myself'. The last few weeks I will have with JUST my husband and I. That is a little saddening. I love just being with him. I love having him around when we're doing nothing but being friends. And he has all my attention. And how do we spend these precious last few days? Good question! I'd like to make the most of them!

I LOVE ANIMALS...They're delicious

As a child, I wanted to be a vet or at least take care of animals for the rest of my life. I literally had hundreds of cats (spread out over several years), puppies, chickens, cows, a few rabbits, a guinea pig for a few days, and probably more that I'm trying to forget. I would sneak kittens into the house and dress them in my doll clothes trying to turn them into babies, and would hand feed with an eye dropper any kitten who had lost his mother to a highway death. I loved these cats so much, they even gave me worms. We won't get into that. Watching cows be born, fetching eggs from the chickens, and crying so many tears over the deaths of every puppy and kitten that we eventually lost.
I'm not sure what happened over the years, but now, I really can't stand animals. I can't stand pet hair, I can't stand to be jumped on by peoples dogs, I can't stand being licked, I hate being barked at by a strange dog for no reason when I'm taking a walk, I can't stand how they poop wherever they want, and expect you to show them attention. I can't stand how people are so quick to help a 'homeless' animal, but wouldn't bother to help an orphan or homeless person in another country. I'm a people person, not an animal person.
That being said, I married an animal person. When we were first married, C.J. begged and begged for a dog. When I made the comment, "I would get a cat before I got a dog", he quickly began begging for a cat. This went on for about 8 months straight, and then I surprised him with Tansy. A little black cat. I have to admit, if he is even half the father as he is a cat owner, he's going to be wonderful! He's very patient and loving towards this cat. It sickens me, yet I think it's adorable too.
Since my brother moved in a few weeks ago, I've felt like I'm in college. Work has been slow for C.J. and even more slow for Adam who is still trying to get hired somewhere. So needless to say, both boys spend their days together looking for work and playing with the cat. They both love Tansy and I'm completely outnumbered. When I come home from work, I hear stories about the cat.
Yesterday, when I came home from work I walked into quite a scene. My house was immaculate. SO CLEAN! Dinner was ready. That has happened only 2 other times since I have been married...not that I'm counting:) I was so excited and surprised. I was going on and on with gratitude for these boys. Until I noticed something. There was a new stranger in the house. A little siamese kitten. Cute as can be, I admit. But a complete shock to me. I was introduced to 'our' newest family member. Where are the the hidden cameras???

Provision

It seems like every good, long marriage has times when things were tough and the struggles seemed to seem too hard, but then years later they are so greatful to have gone through them. I feel like this is one of those times in my life and marriage.
My husband is self-employed and work is very slow right now. No steady work has been available for about 3 months now. We have my brother (also unemployed) living with us right now as well. I'm working full time, but will lose my job in about 2.5 months when it's time for the baby to come. We will also lose insurance and all steady income at that point. The hormones of pregnancy have fed upon my fears, worries, and exhaustion. But I can't help but know in my heart that these are the moments and times in our life that we will look back on and see the hand of God that has always provided.
These are situations that our parents went through when we were growing up. And their situations were tougher than ours. For instance, when I was younger, I remember going to every hometown football game. This was something I loved...the people, the game, the pork chop sandwiches, the cheering. Still the same wonderful feelings I get when I go a football game as an adult. However, as a child I noticed we usually didn't go to the games until half time(so we could get in free). And after the games, we would wait for the crowd to clear out, and our little family of four would stick around and pick up aluminum cans. Now to my brother and I, this was a game to see who could collect my cans. To my parents, this was recycling money we needed to put food on the table. How humbling for my parents. Parents who would do anything for our little family. Some people would assume that since we were 'lowered' to collecting cans, that life must be pretty bad. Not our family. It all depends on perspective. To us kids, this was a fun memory. Obviously times were extremely tough. I have never met any family who had to do this. I've met most who, like us, bought hand-me-downs, even used cloth diapers, but this is a first. But my parents never gave up, and never seemed discouraged. Because they believed in a God that provided all their needs. God promises that he will take care of the birds who have beautiful coats and always have food. And He promises that if he cares that much about the birds, how much more will He care for us? And He has. I can't ever look back in my life and find a time when I didn't have clothes or food. How fortunate are we....always?? So why should I worry? When did God's promise fail? When in my life did He not provide more than enough? Never. It's exciting to think about the future, not worrysome. Or at least that's how my attitude should be:) Here's to trusting in a God that has never failed, and who I'm greatful to have watching over my family!

It's a boy! ___?___ Joseph Youngkin

This post is a little late to announce that we are having a son. We actually found out on Tuesday June 16th and I will never forget that feeling as long as I live!

We weren't supposed to find out until later this month, but a few issues made my dr. want to do an earlier ultrasound. The issues were some slight spotting, and the fact that I fainted while at a garage sale. Both issues are fine now. I've learned that the fainting is normal at this stage as my body is pumping so much more blood now. It was embarrassing if anything!

So the ultrasound was scheduled right away. CJ had just started a new job and was not able to make it to the ultrasound. We were both bummed about that, but at the same time, it was so much fun to be able to tell him the news myself:)

All along I have thought this little baby was a boy. A part of that was mostly wishful thinking as I have always dreamed of having little boy(s). At the ultrasound, there were 2 nurses present as one was in training. So I received a very thorough ultrasound. I saw all 4 chambers of the heart and saw him moving around. Twice they commented on how fidgety he was. They also said he has nice strong legs. I wondered...does that mean he has his daddy's long legs? Or does that mean he has the stocky Belsly thunder thighs? A combination of both would be great:)

When the ladies asked me if I wanted to know the sex, I said yes. She simply said "it's a little boy. See?" And she pointed to his little pecker:) Tears immediately began streaming down my face. I couldn't believe it. I was so overjoyed and just kept thanking God in my mind. I can't believe how good he has been to me with giving me all these blessings in my life for all of these years. And now, this life-long dream of having my own little boy. And how much fun the phone call to his daddy will be! The tears kept coming. Uncontrollably. I finally had to ask the nurse for a kleenex as it was getting messing there lying on my back. She asked if I was ok because they probably had no idea I was dreaming of having a little boy! I told them they were happy tears.

I lost my wonderful daddy when I was 16. Richard Joseph Belsly. I haven't seen him in over 10 years now. That thought is mind blowing. He was the man I saw everyday of my life until his death. And of course I miss him. I can't tell you how much I wished I could call him on the phone and just tell him that he was going to have a grandson. And 6 months ago my grandpa died. Joseph Belsly. Having my grandpa alive was always refreshing for me. He resembled my dad in so many ways and it was almost like having a piece of him still around. Now that they are both gone, it's amazing for me to think that there is a baby inside me that will be the 3rd generation of those two wonderful men that I lost. And the fact that this baby will be a sort of combination of those men and the man that I love the most in this world...CJ. Is there anything more wonderful than that?

Names

We've been pondering baby names lately. We really haven't come close to choosing or agreeing on one. I tend to lean towards the names where I don't know many or any people with that name. I've always been like that. When I was young...as in grade school, I remember making lists of names I liked. I was priveledged to find that list recently and wanted to share a few. It's very embarrassing actually to admit that I once liked some of these names as a child. In fact, as I go through, I recognize that I had cats named some of these names. I literally had hundreds of cats over the course of living on the farm, and names would run out. I loved to name them names that I wanted to name actual babies if my mother and father had decided to grace me another sibling:) If they had, we can all be thankful that they wouldn't let me name the sibling!

Here's a sample from my list constructed in about 2nd-4th grade? I can tell by my handwriting:)

Boys names:

Preston

Dwayne - This was around the time my dad started working with the Bradley basketball team. For the first time, I heard 'black' names and I liked them.

Siye - complete with a pronunciation guide: Sigh

Land

Jereck

Atatcus - this one had a cat named after it.

Lead

JESUS - yes, I thought it would be ok to name a baby and/or cat, Jesus.

Girls names:

Jace - this was the nickname for my best friend, Jodi:)

L'chelle - another interacial name:)

Rice - what was I thinking?

KT - spelled exactly that way

Eve

After reading the complete list to my husband, needless to say, we still have not arrived on an agreement:) This list will go into safe keeping for sure though:)

Organic

Today after our garage sales, C.J. wanted to stop at a local bike shop downtown Lee's Summit.  About a year ago, we went on our first bikeride.  I have never been more miserable with company on a bike ride as I was with my husband that day.  He complains a lot about his 'tiny buns'.  Him and I were built very very different on the back side. I have pretty big buns, that supply plenty of comfort in seating and cushion on bike seats.  C.J. however has these little tiny buns, that although I think would sometimes be nice to have, they are not.  He complains about the feeling he gets sitting at a football game or bench feeling like the hard surface is rubbing right against his bones.  On this bikeride a year ago, I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that every 2-3 minutes of the 15 minute ride (cut short for his discomfort), he complained about how bad his buns hurt.  It was agonizing. Does it truly hurt that much?? He tried to ride the entire time in the standing position to ease his pain.  I felt like I was riding bikes with a 4 year old who had just got stung by a bee, and let me know how bad it hurt every 2 minutes.

  So that was the first and last bike ride we've shared together. Since then, I have started and envelope marked "beach cruiser".  I put cash in it every so often, so he can get a beach cruiser bike with a wide seat for his tiny buns.  Long story short, we saved the money, and now he can get his bike.

  Right by the bike shop was an organic baby boutique that I wanted to stop in. He hesitated, but came in with me.  The owner of the store was about our age and him and C.J. immediately bonded. Within minutes, C.J. was interested in everything the store had to offer.  The irony of C.J. is this. He is truly INTRIGUED by everything organic as his grandmother owned an all natural health food store and still does.  So he loves to talk about it, read about it etc.   Here's the irony: Just today, he made me stop at Mcdonalds so he could get some fast food breakfast, and 3 hours later, he pulled our car into the chinese buffet so he could get some lunch.  Since I've known him, I have seen him make ONE 'organic' shake that came from a jar of organic powder that his grandmother sent him.  A jar of powder that I KNOW is expired and never going to be use, but yet when we moved he refused to let me throw it out because of course he's going to use it!

   The man who was hesitant to walk into this organic baby boutique, is now thouroughly convinced that we are going to use cloth diapers (he's never change any kind of diaper in his entire life), and he also walked out with a purchase of organic cloth diaper DETERGENT to use on his own clothes. To which he informed me that he might start doing his own laundry now, to avoid putting all the 'crap' detergent on his clothing.

  I love my health nut!

Garage sales

This morning  I set out for some garage sales. I assumed it would just be me, but my hubby was excited to come along.  One of those mixed emotions where you are happy to have the company but also that same feeling I'm sure parents get when the children want to come along. I noticed myself thinking "well, it would be nice to have his company, but at the same time, I know he's going to want to stop at the random sales and buy random knick knacks that he will think are funny, (like the stuffed rooster that he bought that still ends up everywhere in our house) then they will just take up space, and he'll end up spending all my garage sale cash on stonewash jorts that he thinks he will wear as a joke, but never does."  

  Well of course I wanted him along.  Here's some of the items I was keeping my eye open for: a grill for the backyard, a baby stroller or car seat, a set of ladies golf clubs, maybe a weedeater.   Here's what we came home with: 

1.  A mesh old mans hat that reads "Houses are built by studs".  That's a play on words if you didn't catch it.  C.J. wore it to every garage sale after the purchase was made. Embarrassing.

2. some maternity pants that probably won't fit, but hey I'm only out $6

3. The board game called "Milarkey"

4. A Super Nintendo, with 10 Super nintendo games included.

What a success!

   As we traveled through the neighborhood sales, we couldn't help but notice the awkwardness associated with garage sales sometimes.  There will be about 4 houses in a row with sales, and you don't want to park and commit to a walk through, until you do the slow drive-by eyeing the items for sale.  This is uncomfortable for everyone. The owner is sizing you  up in your car, wondering if you have $ to spend at their sale or if you are going to try and bargain with them and rip them off.  We are sizing them up and judging them by the giant picture of a circus clown t that sits leaned against their garage for $3, and by the suitcase with barf stains all over it.  We are driving about -10 mph, as we decided to make it look like we will park and get out when we actually have every intention of just driving right past and getting out of their lives. Until you realize you are at the end of a culdesac, and now you have to do the awkward turn around and drive right past again, but this time give them a friendly wave and move on.

  Then there are the sales where you SWEAR you see some goldmine items worth getting out for. Only to be trotting up the drive and immediately regret your decision. Then you end up staying an extra few minutes pretending to be interested in the collection of vhs tapes they have on display as you start up a fake conversation with the owner about how much you loved the movie "flight of the navagators" as a kid. Then you mosey around some more, talk about the weather, and awkwardly walk away without purchasing a thing.