First drink, first cigarette

I was recently reminiscing on the first time I smoked a cigarette and had my first taste of alcohol. Ironically, they were both given to me by my dear daddy who I never once saw drink any form of alcohol, or use any tobacco products!

Now I must preface this with the statement that my father in no way was trying to push alcohol and tobacco on his daughter. I have never seen my parents drink or smoke, and they have chose that abstinence as their lifelong commitment which I have utmost respect for. But I believe my daddy was wanting to expose his daughter to these things under his watchful eye and maybe since I was young, I would hate it, and learn my lesson to never want to try it again! He hadn't done this with my brother, and my brother sampled these things with his friends, and without supervision and so dad wanted to try a different approach with me.

Both instances were memorable.

The first time I had a cigarette, 6th grade:

We were building fence at my grandpa's farm. This is a chore that I rarely had to help out with, but hated just the same. For some reason, we took my grandpa's truck to the nearby pasture. As I sat in his truck, I glanced at the pack of cigarettes on the dashboard. Dad saw me looking and asked "Would you like to try one, Summer?'' Now of course I thought this was a trick question. So I said 'uh, what do you mean?' He explained to me that it was ok, and that he'd rather me try it in his presence, and to not tell my mom. So as soon as we parked the truck in the pasture, he lit me up:) He obviously didn't teach me how to inhale, and just let me suck in and out. He kept staring at me with a disgusted look in his face and asked me if I liked it. I replied "yeah I kind of do!'' That is obviously probably the worst response he was hoping to get. I just remember being hunched over awkwardly because I didn't know what I was doing, and I didn't want to get 'ashes' on me. He just kept staring with the most disgusted look on his face and then I remember him telling me in a joking, disgusted voice that I 'looked like a prostitute' and then he walked over and took it out of my mouth.

The first time I had alcohol did not strike me as funny until years later when I look back. We were having a family vacation in Colorado. Dad was sick with cancer at the time. He was drinking so much carrot juice, that the bottoms of his feet turned orange. While we were swimming in Colorado, he would wear those Aqua Socks as he was embarrassed of the orange. Everyone else was just embarrassed that he was wearing aqua socks;)

Mom and Adam were in the cabin probably watching tv or eating snacks:) Dad and I were at the pool swimming laps. It was early evening and there was a social going on in a white tent in the grass by the pool. It looked very high end. Everyone was in suits, and the women were all in black dresses and everyone had on nametags and they were drinking wine and eating hor'deurvs (sp?). At this point, we were done swimming laps, and just relaxing in the hot tub as we people watched at the party. Sometimes I swear my dad could read my mind. Because I was sitting there thinking how fun it looked to dress up in a classy setting and drink some wine. I was 14. As I was staring, he again looked over at me and asked 'Summer, would you like to try some wine?' Again, thinking it might be a trick question, I was vague. He again said "I will let you try some, but you can't tell your mother." I remember asking him if I could drink it from a wine glass and he said no. Well, the next moments leave a picture in my adult mind that will make me laugh forever. He walked over to the tent in his red Nike swimtrunks, soaking wet with his aquasocks on, no shirt...just wet, hairy, bare chest. He entered the tent, grabbed some wine and poured it into a plastic cup, and took it to a teenage girl in a hot tub!! Can you picture this?? I would love to know what the people at the social were thinking when this uninvited man in wet swim trunks comes in and steals their wine to take to an underager:)

I wonder if I will let my child try these same things with me?

Woops

I haven't posted since I was 34 weeks pregnant. Now I have a 2 month old son...woops! To my defense, I could not log into my account because I don't have a google email address and it wasn't letting me...etc...excuses.

Hayes was born November 17, 2009 at 5:38 am. A mere 58 hours after my first painful real contraction. I may post a birth story later, but it will be a long post, as it was the longest labor ever. Finally, after being stuck at 5 centimeters for hours upon hours, they decided to give me Pitocin to 'speed things up' and it still took TWELVE hours to go from a 5-10.

Hayes is a little miracle as his head came out with the cord so tight around his neck, that they had to quickly clamp and cut it so he wouldn't choke. Then his shoulders got stuck so he was without oxygen. They pushed on my stomach and yanked him out and he wasn't breathing. It was a pretty traumatic delivery and I wasn't able to see or hold him until he got out of the NICU 4 hours later. However, God was so gracious and there he completely recovered!

I have tried to upload a video of him, but for some reason it takes FOREVER and says the file size is too high. If anyone has any suggestions on this, I would love to know.

This is all for now, but I PROMISE I will post more now that I can login to my account, and now that I'm a stay at home mom!

Baby update

Today I went to my 32 week appointment and was told our little boy is measuring for a 34 week old. So this means a big baby, or an earlier due date...not exactly sure right now. I will tell you, that it made me very excited. That means technically I could be holding this little guy in my arms instead of my belly...in about a month!

My father's 60th birthday would have been on Nov. 7th of this year. The thought crossed my mind that there is a slight possibility that this baby could be born exactly 60 years from his grandpa! I do admit, it makes me emotional to think about what a wonderful grandpa he would have been. As gentle as he was with children, and how much he enjoyed them. And one of his favorite things to do was listen to a newborn baby breathe. That sound was heaven to him. I just think of how wonderful it would have been to introduce him to his own grandson. And how he could teach him about farming. And about hard work. And Jesus. He would have made the most wonderful and involved grandpa!

It kind of set in today that this IT. These are the last few weeks I will have to 'myself'. The last few weeks I will have with JUST my husband and I. That is a little saddening. I love just being with him. I love having him around when we're doing nothing but being friends. And he has all my attention. And how do we spend these precious last few days? Good question! I'd like to make the most of them!

I LOVE ANIMALS...They're delicious

As a child, I wanted to be a vet or at least take care of animals for the rest of my life. I literally had hundreds of cats (spread out over several years), puppies, chickens, cows, a few rabbits, a guinea pig for a few days, and probably more that I'm trying to forget. I would sneak kittens into the house and dress them in my doll clothes trying to turn them into babies, and would hand feed with an eye dropper any kitten who had lost his mother to a highway death. I loved these cats so much, they even gave me worms. We won't get into that. Watching cows be born, fetching eggs from the chickens, and crying so many tears over the deaths of every puppy and kitten that we eventually lost.
I'm not sure what happened over the years, but now, I really can't stand animals. I can't stand pet hair, I can't stand to be jumped on by peoples dogs, I can't stand being licked, I hate being barked at by a strange dog for no reason when I'm taking a walk, I can't stand how they poop wherever they want, and expect you to show them attention. I can't stand how people are so quick to help a 'homeless' animal, but wouldn't bother to help an orphan or homeless person in another country. I'm a people person, not an animal person.
That being said, I married an animal person. When we were first married, C.J. begged and begged for a dog. When I made the comment, "I would get a cat before I got a dog", he quickly began begging for a cat. This went on for about 8 months straight, and then I surprised him with Tansy. A little black cat. I have to admit, if he is even half the father as he is a cat owner, he's going to be wonderful! He's very patient and loving towards this cat. It sickens me, yet I think it's adorable too.
Since my brother moved in a few weeks ago, I've felt like I'm in college. Work has been slow for C.J. and even more slow for Adam who is still trying to get hired somewhere. So needless to say, both boys spend their days together looking for work and playing with the cat. They both love Tansy and I'm completely outnumbered. When I come home from work, I hear stories about the cat.
Yesterday, when I came home from work I walked into quite a scene. My house was immaculate. SO CLEAN! Dinner was ready. That has happened only 2 other times since I have been married...not that I'm counting:) I was so excited and surprised. I was going on and on with gratitude for these boys. Until I noticed something. There was a new stranger in the house. A little siamese kitten. Cute as can be, I admit. But a complete shock to me. I was introduced to 'our' newest family member. Where are the the hidden cameras???

Provision

It seems like every good, long marriage has times when things were tough and the struggles seemed to seem too hard, but then years later they are so greatful to have gone through them. I feel like this is one of those times in my life and marriage.
My husband is self-employed and work is very slow right now. No steady work has been available for about 3 months now. We have my brother (also unemployed) living with us right now as well. I'm working full time, but will lose my job in about 2.5 months when it's time for the baby to come. We will also lose insurance and all steady income at that point. The hormones of pregnancy have fed upon my fears, worries, and exhaustion. But I can't help but know in my heart that these are the moments and times in our life that we will look back on and see the hand of God that has always provided.
These are situations that our parents went through when we were growing up. And their situations were tougher than ours. For instance, when I was younger, I remember going to every hometown football game. This was something I loved...the people, the game, the pork chop sandwiches, the cheering. Still the same wonderful feelings I get when I go a football game as an adult. However, as a child I noticed we usually didn't go to the games until half time(so we could get in free). And after the games, we would wait for the crowd to clear out, and our little family of four would stick around and pick up aluminum cans. Now to my brother and I, this was a game to see who could collect my cans. To my parents, this was recycling money we needed to put food on the table. How humbling for my parents. Parents who would do anything for our little family. Some people would assume that since we were 'lowered' to collecting cans, that life must be pretty bad. Not our family. It all depends on perspective. To us kids, this was a fun memory. Obviously times were extremely tough. I have never met any family who had to do this. I've met most who, like us, bought hand-me-downs, even used cloth diapers, but this is a first. But my parents never gave up, and never seemed discouraged. Because they believed in a God that provided all their needs. God promises that he will take care of the birds who have beautiful coats and always have food. And He promises that if he cares that much about the birds, how much more will He care for us? And He has. I can't ever look back in my life and find a time when I didn't have clothes or food. How fortunate are we....always?? So why should I worry? When did God's promise fail? When in my life did He not provide more than enough? Never. It's exciting to think about the future, not worrysome. Or at least that's how my attitude should be:) Here's to trusting in a God that has never failed, and who I'm greatful to have watching over my family!

It's a boy! ___?___ Joseph Youngkin

This post is a little late to announce that we are having a son. We actually found out on Tuesday June 16th and I will never forget that feeling as long as I live!

We weren't supposed to find out until later this month, but a few issues made my dr. want to do an earlier ultrasound. The issues were some slight spotting, and the fact that I fainted while at a garage sale. Both issues are fine now. I've learned that the fainting is normal at this stage as my body is pumping so much more blood now. It was embarrassing if anything!

So the ultrasound was scheduled right away. CJ had just started a new job and was not able to make it to the ultrasound. We were both bummed about that, but at the same time, it was so much fun to be able to tell him the news myself:)

All along I have thought this little baby was a boy. A part of that was mostly wishful thinking as I have always dreamed of having little boy(s). At the ultrasound, there were 2 nurses present as one was in training. So I received a very thorough ultrasound. I saw all 4 chambers of the heart and saw him moving around. Twice they commented on how fidgety he was. They also said he has nice strong legs. I wondered...does that mean he has his daddy's long legs? Or does that mean he has the stocky Belsly thunder thighs? A combination of both would be great:)

When the ladies asked me if I wanted to know the sex, I said yes. She simply said "it's a little boy. See?" And she pointed to his little pecker:) Tears immediately began streaming down my face. I couldn't believe it. I was so overjoyed and just kept thanking God in my mind. I can't believe how good he has been to me with giving me all these blessings in my life for all of these years. And now, this life-long dream of having my own little boy. And how much fun the phone call to his daddy will be! The tears kept coming. Uncontrollably. I finally had to ask the nurse for a kleenex as it was getting messing there lying on my back. She asked if I was ok because they probably had no idea I was dreaming of having a little boy! I told them they were happy tears.

I lost my wonderful daddy when I was 16. Richard Joseph Belsly. I haven't seen him in over 10 years now. That thought is mind blowing. He was the man I saw everyday of my life until his death. And of course I miss him. I can't tell you how much I wished I could call him on the phone and just tell him that he was going to have a grandson. And 6 months ago my grandpa died. Joseph Belsly. Having my grandpa alive was always refreshing for me. He resembled my dad in so many ways and it was almost like having a piece of him still around. Now that they are both gone, it's amazing for me to think that there is a baby inside me that will be the 3rd generation of those two wonderful men that I lost. And the fact that this baby will be a sort of combination of those men and the man that I love the most in this world...CJ. Is there anything more wonderful than that?

Names

We've been pondering baby names lately. We really haven't come close to choosing or agreeing on one. I tend to lean towards the names where I don't know many or any people with that name. I've always been like that. When I was young...as in grade school, I remember making lists of names I liked. I was priveledged to find that list recently and wanted to share a few. It's very embarrassing actually to admit that I once liked some of these names as a child. In fact, as I go through, I recognize that I had cats named some of these names. I literally had hundreds of cats over the course of living on the farm, and names would run out. I loved to name them names that I wanted to name actual babies if my mother and father had decided to grace me another sibling:) If they had, we can all be thankful that they wouldn't let me name the sibling!

Here's a sample from my list constructed in about 2nd-4th grade? I can tell by my handwriting:)

Boys names:

Preston

Dwayne - This was around the time my dad started working with the Bradley basketball team. For the first time, I heard 'black' names and I liked them.

Siye - complete with a pronunciation guide: Sigh

Land

Jereck

Atatcus - this one had a cat named after it.

Lead

JESUS - yes, I thought it would be ok to name a baby and/or cat, Jesus.

Girls names:

Jace - this was the nickname for my best friend, Jodi:)

L'chelle - another interacial name:)

Rice - what was I thinking?

KT - spelled exactly that way

Eve

After reading the complete list to my husband, needless to say, we still have not arrived on an agreement:) This list will go into safe keeping for sure though:)